Driving Lessons
by FiliKili
Summary: Series of short drabbles about driving...and various characters who are learning to drive...heh. Inspired by my own inability to drive a car.
1. STOP save the other persons

Short drabbles inspired by my own disastrous drivings….of course, they weren't extreme to the point where I was going at 100 mph and such things like that. I think that I can relieve my pressure whenever I drive on this little drabble. I'm thinking of expanding this.

**Disclaimer: I, obviously, do not own Naruto. Come on, I'm the UnsuspectingCakeThief who really is an unsuspecting person but is not a thief of cake but likes the title. If that made sense.**

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Driving lesson one: S.T.O.P. (Save The Other Persons)

"Stop. Now. STOP!!!" A pale teenage boy with hair like a cockatiel's shrieked into the ear of a tanned, whiskered blondie with amazing blue eyes.

"Hey, take a chill pill, bastard. I'm not crashing into anything." The blondie grinned happily.

"Naruto," The dark haired boy closed his eyes to calm himself down. "When you drive to an intersection with a stop sign, you STOP."

Naruto looked at the road, confused. "But I didn't see a stop sign!" He exclaimed, taking both hands off the steering wheel and gesturing to the road. "Do you see a stop sign?"

At this point, the car swerved, and the dark haired, pretty boy screamed. He grabbed the steering wheel, moved it, just in time to avoid another collision with an unsuspecting tree.

"Oh geez, Sasuke. You sounded like a girl." Naruto laughed, glancing at his terrified friend.

"Take over the fucking wheel, moron." Sasuke hissed, pressing a trembling hand to his chest. His heart felt like it was jumping up his throat! "You almost killed us there!" He shouted into Naruto's ear.

"Relax, Sasuke, relax. You're even more tense than I am, and I'm the one that's driving." Naruto added, smiling to reassure Sasuke.

Sasuke looked at him as if he really was stupid. "How can I not be scared for my life when I'm in the passenger's seat, next to you, whose DRIVING the car?"

Naruto shrugged, facing the road. "I don't know, but just relax."

Sasuke wanted to scream again, like a girl, right into Naruto's ears, but this was not the moment to do that. "Naruto, slower. SLOWER I SAY!" He screeched, eyes popping as he saw the speedometer at seventy miles per hour, _and they were driving right past the police station_.

Naruto ignored Sasuke. He drove right past the police station with ease, and to his delight, he didn't crash into anything.

Sasuke nearly fainted. He groaned. "Naruto, please. _Slow the fucking car down._"

Naruto sighed heavily. Sometimes, his friend was just such a jerk. "Fine." He sighed, and lifted his foot from the gas pedal and to the brakes.

The speedometer now read forty miles per hour. Sasuke let out a long awaited sigh of relief. Unfortunately…his relief didn't last very long.

"NARUTO! STOP AT THE RED LIGHT!" Sasuke bellowed, face pale with terror as Naruto sped up and ran through the intersection although it was a red light. There was quite a turmoil of honks, angry drivers cursing from the windows, and several screams.

"Boy, that was fun!" Naruto cheered, pumping a fist into the air. "I'm going to try that again!"

Sasuke's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "I sincerely hope that you're kidding." He said seriously.

Naruto grinned. "When have you been sincere? And no, I'm not kidding."

"We could've died in that too!" Sasuke shouted, veins popping out from his head in all the tension and fear he just gone through.

Naruto snorted. "But we didn't, so there." He turned back to the road, this time driving with obvious ease and confidence… "Now I want to hit the highway!" He exclaimed happily.

Sasuke slumped against his seat, limp with frustration, terror, anxiety, and constant pressure. "I think today's going to be my last day." He moaned.

"Ah ha ha ha ha! This is so much fun!" Naruto hit the gas pedal with full force and sped out from an exit and onto the highway, narrowly missing a crash with a random pick up truck.

Sasuke silently wished for a highway patrol to show up. _Help me please…_

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_And this will be continued...later on...  
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	2. Highway 69, oops, I mean, 96

**Disclaimer:** I love Suigetsu, but I don't own him…sigh…

**Note**: A bit of OOC on this one…I think I went a bit overboard…and no, I wasn't on drugs when I wrote this; I was on the computer…

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**Highway 96:**

Suigetsu thought that he was the coolest person to ever live. He rode his motorcycle with a flair no one but him could achieve.

It was on the Highway 96 did he learn that he wasn't the coolest person alive.

A battered, faded, paint-chipped old Chevy terrorized fifteen different cars and seventeen different passengers.

The driver, a mischievous looking boy at about sixteen with amazing blue eyes and bright blond hair, grinned happily at the sight that he was winning the contest.

"Ha ha ha ha! You stupid cars! Can't get past this ol' Chevy can't ya?!" He crowed triumphantly.

His passenger, a pretty, dark haired boy with onyx eyes, only screamed.

"Hey, bastard, don't go insane on me now! This is so much fun!" Naruto shouted happily as he pressed down on the gas pedal. The '69 car ran at a speed no one could believe an old car like that could go.

Naruto felt like he was high on drugs. No, this was even better than drugs! He swerved, scaring the car and driver next to him, and then ended up in the middle of the dotted yellow lines.

Sasuke, who had half fainted, silently prayed for the police to come, somewhat unconsciously.

But his half consciousness didn't last for long; a loud shout of anger from Naruto brought Sasuke back to earth.

"DAMN THAT HOODLUM!" Naruto swore, glaring at the leather jacketed, white haired youth on a sleek Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

"Naruto. Shut up. And don't go calling other people hoodlums." Sasuke snapped. His patience was wearing out, and he was slowly regaining his usual cold attitude.

Naruto ignored him. Again. His brows were furrowed, and he was muttering something disconcerting under his breath.

"What about castrating?" Sasuke demanded, turning quickly to stare at him, wildly. Naruto hardly ever made threats about penises (surprise!).

"Nothing, bastard. Go back to your beauty sleep." Naruto muttered, loud for Sasuke to hear.

"Beauty sleep-!" Enraged, Sasuke pulled out his cell and quickly dialed his brother's number.

"Brother, save me. We're on highway 96 and I'm stuck in a car with a maniac. Huh? Oh, we're in the –" Sasuke's frantic call to his brother was stopped when all of a sudden, the Chevy _flew_ into the air and landed straight ahead of the motorcycle.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto pumped his fist into the air, grinning broadly. "That outta show the wannabe hoodlum!"

The phone slipped out of Sasuke's hand. Sasuke was frozen. _They. Had. Just. Flew. In. a. CHEVY!_

Several yards behind the Chevy, Suigetsu pulled over to the side of the road, took off his helmet, and stared.

"That was, like, totally cool, man." He whispered, awed.

"And you are, like, totally in trouble, man." A smooth and cool voice answered from behind him.

Suigetsu spun around, eyes wide. "What the fu—oh, er, hi." His voice became slightly timid.

A dark man, with unusually sharp teeth, like Suigetsu's (but sharper, if that was possible), smiled. He looked like a shark. With him, a quiet, dark haired and handsome man stood against a police car.

"O-officer K-K-Kisame! And Officer I-I-I-Itachi…" His voice trailed off as he quailed pitifully under the quiet man's red, unblinking gaze.

After ten minutes of painful discussion, the officers jumped back into their police car and sped up, after the blue Chevy that had already terrorized seven more cars and reached thirty miles ahead of where Suigetsu was.

He was lucky, to have survived through the officers' questionings…Suigetsu shoved his helmet unceremoniously on his head. He learned his lesson, after seeing that flying car. Suigetsu was not the coolest person alive.

But, as he climbed back on his motorcycle, he vowed to learn how to fly on his motorcycle…

And Naruto finally exited the highway and came to a stop at Mickey D's.

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**End…for this one….next one…wait for it….**


	3. Blond Hair and Blue Eyes

**Disclaimer:** Not mine not mine not mine

**Note:** This one made me crave for an Oreos n' Cream McFlurry. I think I'll use my mad cycling skills to bicycle to McDonald's now! ^.^

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Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes

"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you?"

"Uh…one large fry, an Oreos n' Cream McFlurry, and," Naruto turned around and looked at Sasuke, who had gone back to his usual pale color and calming down, "What d'ya want?"

Sasuke was running his hand through his hair to fix it. His hair had gotten tangled through the last twenty minutes of agitation and terror. "Huh? Oh, a coke."

"And one medium Coke." Naruto finished. He smiled, then his expression turned to that of surprise.

"Kiba?! What are you doing here?" Naruto exclaimed.

The unruly headed boy rolled his eyes. "Took you long enough to notice." Naruto continued to look faintly puzzled. Kiba coughed. "I work here, dumbass."

"Watch who you're calling dumbass, dumbass." Naruto retorted, crossing his arms. Then he frowned. "When did you start working at McDonald's?"

"When I found out that keeping Akamaru was expensive. This is only a part-time job, but it pays for Akamaru's dog food, so I'm fine with it." Kiba replied conversationally.

Behind Naruto, Sasuke examined his reflection in the car window. He was so intent on fixing that stray hair that he didn't even see the police car pull up.

It was until Itachi and Kisame walked out of the car did Sasuke see the police car parked outside.

"Naruto! My brother's here!" Sasuke shouted into Naruto's ear in joy.

"I know, pretty boy. That's why I'm not here." Naruto was wearing a paper McDonald's bag over his head with two holes poked out for him to see. He shoved Sasuke's Coke at him and Sasuke gratefully took a sip. Pulling out a five-dollar bill, Naruto smacked it into Kiba's hand and zoomed off before Kiba could say anything else.

"Hey dumbass! Your change!" Kiba called after him, but the old chevy had already sped out of the drive through and almost ran over two policemen.

"Whoa!" Kisame fell on his butt, winded by the speed and force of the old car. "That's some crazy driver."

Itachi glared at Kisame. "We're supposed to be chasing after that car!"

"Oh." Kisame got up. "Then let's go!"

The two policemen got back in their car. Kisame tried to start the engine. It wouldn't start up.

"Fuck." He cursed. "We're out of gas."

Itachi sighed. He pulled out his cell phone and called his younger brother.

"Hello?" Sasuke's voice sounded short of terror.

"Hello little brother. You're on your own now. Our car just ran out of gas." Itachi droned monotonously, looking out the window.

"WHAT?!" His younger brother screeched through the phone. Itachi winced. "Yeah, sorry. I'll send another police car after you guys." With that, he hung up on Sasuke's splutters and called another fellow policeman.

"Hello Deidara. I need you to follow a battered old chevy on highway…"

Deidara hummed to himself, occasionally shouting out the words "Bang!" for fun.

His partner, a seemingly sixteen year old boy who was actually a forty eight year old man, ignored him.

"Deidara!" He said suddenly, grabbing at Deidara's arm. "That's the car!"

An old chevy sped past them at 90 miles per hour.

"That's a really cool driver." Deidara commented. "He has blonde hair and blue eyes like me, yeah!"

"Sure, but we're supposed to be going after that car and the driver!"

"Really?" Deidara mused. Then it hit him. "Oh yeah! That guy was totally speeding, yeah!" Deidara punched a button, making the police sirens go off. He pressed down on the gas pedal and sped after the old chevy.

Inside the car, Sasuke had taken to quietly sipping his coke to calm his fears. He heard the police sirens.

"Naruto, incoming police car. It seems to be an emergency, so move to the side and slow down."

"'Kay." Naruto slowed down, realizing the seriousness of it all. The police car sped past them. "Hey! The driver has blonde hair and blue eyes like me!" Naruto shouted in excitement.

"A lot of people have blonde hair and blue eyes like you, dobe." Sasuke sniffed. Then his eyes widened as he realized that the police car must've been sent by his brother.

"Oh shit!"

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This one was really fun to write. I love Deidara! ^.^


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